Understanding Sex and Love Addiction Before It’s Too late
Sex and love addiction is a relatively new term because there is no specific diagnosis for this condition in the diagnostic manual therapists use to submit to insurance companies. However, as a professional therapist with over 20 years of experience in Orange County, I have had many patients struggling with sex and love addictions.
Many people find themselves caught in patterns they don’t fully understand and aren’t sure how to change. It’s common to see patients struggling with pornography, internet sex, phone sex, prostitution, affairs, and compulsive masturbation.
And it appears to me (and other clinicians I talk with) that over the years with the wide use of the internet that sex addiction is on the rise here in Orange County and around the country. People have more access to more pornographic images, other sex addicts, sex workers, etc…than ever before.
What is sex addiction?
Sex addiction isn’t just about behavior—it’s often about using sex or sexual fantasy to escape painful emotions, numb out, or feel a sense of control. Over time, this can threaten their well-being, health, spirit, jobs, standing in the community, financial situation, reputation, and/or personal relationships.
The drive for romantic/flirting/sexual/sexualizing pursuits not only are destructive, but they also keep them from growing, developing and authentically participating in life.
The biggest challenge is that not everyone is aware they have an addiction. If you are wondering whether this is for you, I’ve prepared a list of questions you can ask yourself.
How to identify if you are a sex or love addict
Diagnosing a sex or love addict is not always a simple task because the patient is often unaware their behavior is unhealthy and addictive.
If you are wondering if you are a sex or love addict, here are some key questions:
- Do you engage in sex/sexual activities/sexualizing/romance at inappropriate times, inappropriate places and/or with inappropriate people regardless of the potential consequences?
- Do you find yourself unable to stop even though it is detrimental to you and/or loved ones?
- Do you feel that you are not “really alive” unless you are engaging in compulsive masturbation, sexualizing, flirting, romancing, sex, etc…?
How sex therapy can help
In my work as a therapist with sex and love addicts, I work together with my clients on identifying and meeting his/her abstinence and recovery goals. Each individual’s abstinence and recovery are unique because every sex and love addict acts out differently. We find boundaries together to define and clarify what kinds of acts of love and sex further enhance life and what behaviors are destructive.
The goal is not to eliminate sexual pleasure or emotional intimacy from one’s life, but rather to find healthy and enriching forms in which to express these important and valuable human instincts.
I can offer you support individually or as a couple. Read more about each of these below:
Ready to take the first step?
Contact me today to schedule your consultation.