Couples struggle over when to keep working on the marriage and when to separate. Some research suggests that on average couples wait 6 years in conflict and distance before they will seek help from a therapist. Often my colleagues and I discuss that one of the problems most couples have who seek a divorce is that they waited too long. Couples counseling is most effective when the problems have not been going on for years. Also, treatment is shorter usually when problems are not chronic. It …
Lessons to teach our children….
1. Teach children to be curious, rather than pass judgement. Rather than shun people for looking or behaving a certain way, teach your children to ask questions to understand others. We may discover after asking questions a new ingenious way of coping with a challenge or a new creative way to think. 2. Teach honesty and responsibility. It takes courage to do the right thing, but it always feels good to the soul. Even when no one is around to watch and celebrate you for telling the truth …
Couples Therapy for One, Some Go Alone
Many couples wait too long to get help from a therapist. In my practice, I often ask couples why they waited so long to get help. Often they respond that they both did not agree to counseling, meaning one wanted to come, but the other did not. I find myself, regretfully, explaining that one can work on their relationship in therapy, even if their partner won't go to couples therapy. And sometimes couples counseling is even more effective for some of my patients when they do attend sessions …